A deal with ursula dreamlight valley

My boyfriend (M20) and (I M21) were invited to a Minecraft realm and I was excited because we haven’t played Minecraft in forever. We’re also hungry so we started making making taco meat out of hamburger meat. As we were cooking we decided to make the rest of the meat we didn’t use into burgers. He said not to worry about the taco meat. He asked me to wash a large bowl that was in the sink and I didn’t hear him so when he came back he asked me if it was washed and it wasn’t and he did it himself. So I went to download Minecraft and came right back but he was really annoyed at me because the Taco meat almost burned and he was busy molding and seasoning burgers and I had left him to make 3 things at once alone. And he also can’t find his glasses and thinks I lost them (I mean it was so long ago I can’t even remember so maybe I did) so now he’s searching the entire room and moving all the furniture and I should be in there helping him and apologizing to him but I’m also having an anxiety attack from everything and honestly maybe none of this I’ve typed makes sense cause I’ve just randomly been typing my thoughts. But like I know he doesn’t want to deal with my anxiety attacks especially when he’s mad and his tone has shifted to the tone he has when he’s mad at me. So now I’m in the shower typing this up and the sound of him moving the room around has finally gone away but my heartbeat or breathing hasn’t calmed yet and I don’t know when it will. I realize I’m kind of an asshole

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I (30) am going back to my Amish community after 10 years. I've had an incredibly hard time connecting with anyone where it budded into a friendship. I came with a lot of baggage and culture shock. Every day and aspect felt like I'm living in constant translation. Especially as a woman. And queer at that. My question relates to my last ex. I fell hard even though we only dated for about 4 months. It's been 15 months since we broke up and I still ache for her. I brush off anyone else's advances and can't stop hurting for her. I don't keep in contact with my exes as I find that unhealthy for my boundaries. I know we were rather mismatched but rational doesn't seem to be good enough. She has 2 degrees and I have none. I went to college but dropped out to catch up with the payments than didn't go back. That bothered her a bit since she preferred I had a degree(s). She also seemed to be ashamed of me since I'm white and kept me from meeting her parents even though her mom knew and asked a few times. When people would hit on me she got insecure and said she doesn't get hit on so she asked that I wouldn't inform her and deal with pursuers myself. So I stopped showing her my dms. Her friend said I'm the hottest person she's dated and I'm nothing much in the looks department. I would listen for the things she mentioned of her body that she didn't like and love on it extra which she made note of and appreciated. I find everything about her so attractive. I still have her pictures on my phone. I can't bare to look at them, I just hurt. I can't handle the thought of deleting them as it feels cruel. We had a mutual split and huggy crying separation the last time we saw each other. But I seem to be handling it worse. I heard she has a new gf soon after we broke up. I keep dreaming about them being happy together. I'll be honest it hurts a little bit but mostly I just smile when my dreams show me her face and she looks happy. I was having financial troubles but I took a loan out to afford her what she deserved while keeping my small business afloat. I know she deserves better. I'm really rambling I'm sorry. My question is that I'll be going back to the Amish and may very well never cross paths again. I'm grateful for the love I was allowed to show towards her. I want her to know that there are people out there that find her intelligent AND attractive. I want to thank her also for the love she showed too me even when she couldn't understand my isolated culture. I feel maybe me reaching out would be selfish and disrupt what she's well past. If anyone had insight I would be ever so grateful!

my partner and I collectively earn 50k in a month from fixed income, not yet including my (minimal) commissions and his freelances (but that's a separate conversation).
We've been considering living in later in the year (it feels like a right point in time), right now i rent a place thats 6k including bills, and hes living in his family home.
He's kinda irresponsible with his spendings-savings and I'd like advice on what a good price point for a new place is.
Admittedly that 6k for my unit is a good chunk of my income that I probably shouldn't have taken, but not sharing a space with a stranger was a deal breaker for me and I'm not the best researcher when it comes to finding places for rent.
Tyia for the input

It seems Rockstar games isn’t the cybersecurity rockstar it may have thought, as Grand Theft Auto 6 videos, source code, and Rockstar in-house documents are leaking online. In an interesting twist of fate, this might be coming from the recent Uber threat actor, who will likely have a laundry list of criminal charges should the United States catch up with them.
Less than 24 hours from writing, a forum post on a Grand Theft Auto (GTA) site, which will remain unlinked, went up from user “teapotuberhacker,” who claimed to have some stolen data. In the post, they wrote that they obtained and published “90 footage/clips from GTA 6” and had more data like “GTA 5 and 6 source code and assets” or a “GTA 6 testing build.” Of course, users on the forum were immediately skeptical of the breach, given how early it is for this sort of thing, but the info we are beginning to get back indicates that this is the real deal.
gta6 leak online forum post
Furthermore, within the forum post, teapotuberhacker links himself to the recent Uber breach and explains that he got his GTA VI data from employee Slack channels and Rockstar’s internal Confluence, a corporate wiki tool. But, of course, Slack channels and Confluence pages are juicy targets for hackers and threat actors alike, so it could just be pure coincidence and someone trying to claim the infamy.
schreier gta6 leak tweet confirmation
In any event, Bloomberg's Jason Schreier has since confirmed that this leak is real, so whether this is the Uber hacker or not is irrelevant. Thus, as mentioned, this leak could be one of the biggest in video game history and a massive problem for Rockstar games. Until we have an official statement from the company, it is unclear what kind of effect this might have, such as game setbacks and delays. Hopefully, we will find out more soon. Stay tuned to HotHardware for updates on this still developing situation and take your fill of leaks while you can, as Rockstar likely won't leave them for long.

After the success of their performance at the music festival, Mimi, Katcy, and Z are approached by a prominent music producer who offers to produce their next album. They're thrilled at the opportunity and eagerly accept, but soon realize that the producer has a very different vision for their sound and image than they do.
As they work on the album, tensions start to rise between the group and the producer. He insists on incorporating more mainstream pop elements into their music and pressuring them to conform to certain beauty standards. Mimi, Katcy, and Z are frustrated and feel like they're losing control over their art.
Feeling trapped and unsure of what to do, they turn to their mentor Rachel for guidance. Rachel encourages them to stand up for themselves and their vision, and to consider the possibility of producing the album independently.
Mimi, Katcy, and Z are hesitant at first, but ultimately decide to take Rachel's advice and break away from the producer. They invest their own money into producing the album and collaborate with independent musicians and producers who share their vision.
The album receives positive reviews and gains a dedicated following, proving to Mimi, Katcy, and Z that they made the right choice in sticking to their artistic vision and taking control of their own careers.
The episode highlights the challenges faced by artists in the music industry, particularly when it comes to negotiating creative control and dealing with pressure to conform to certain standards. It also showcases the power of independence and the importance of staying true to oneself in order to achieve success.

Prices are negotiable but do not include shipping unless noted. Minimum purchase is $10. Add $4 for individual games. Discounted shipping on bundles. I will pay the shipping on all GAME purchases over $50. Let me know if something doesn't seem right. I will offer better deals and priority to those looking to bundle.
ONLY ACCEPTING PayPal F&F for payment or come trade with me on GameSwap!
Willing to meet in the Sacramento area.
​

PLAYSTATION
Playstation 2	Final Fantasy X Brady Games Strategy Guide	Very worn. Has tear in front cover. No poster.
Playstation 2	Final Fantasy X -2 Brady Games Strategy Guide	Moderately worn. Has smaller tear in back cover. Includes Poster.	Both Guides for $25
Playstation 2	Dual Shock 2	Silver - Works - Normal Wear	$27
Playstation 2	Dual Shock 2	Translucent Blue - Works - Normal Wear	$29
Playstation 2	24 The Game	BL - CIB	$8
Playstation 2	Guitar Hero II	BL - CIB	$5
Playstation 2	Guitar Hero Guitar Hero Encore Rocks the 80's	BL - CIB	$7
Playstation 2	Wheel of Fortune	BL - CIB	$5
			Take all 4 PS2 games for $19 Shipped
Playstation 4	Final Fantasy XV Deluxe Steelbook Edition book w/Slipcover	BL - CIB	$19
Playstation 4	Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8	BL - CIB - Spine damage/tear	$10
Playstation 4	Middle Earth Shadow of War	BL - CIB	$5
Playstation 4	Nascar Heat 3	BL - CIB	$6
Playstation 4	Overwatch Origins	BL - CIB	$8
Playstation 4	Persona 5	BL - CIB	$9
Playstation 4	Resident Evil Village Deluxe Edition	BL - CIB	$25
PSP	PSP 1001 - Loose. PSP ONLY	Body and screen are pretty scratched up, includes a rubber grip cover and I can include a white replacement shell... Charge port can be touchy sometimes so it also includes a replacement port. No charger.	$50 - Pending
PSP	Tekken 6	BL - CIB	$40
PSVITA	Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2 Plus	Loose	$22
PSVITA	Wipeout 2048	Loose	$18
			Take both Vita games for $35 shipped

​

XBOX
Xbox	Blowout	BL - CIB	$6
Xbox	Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban	BL - CIB	$10
Xbox	Indiana Jones and The Emperors Tomb	BL - CIB	$12
Xbox	Pac Man World 2	PH - CIB	$8
Xbox	Return To Castle Wolfenstein Tides of War	PH - CIB	$5
			Take all OG Xbox games for $30 shipped
Xbox 360	4GB - 360 Slim Console	Includes OEM power supply and controller. I can probably include an HDMI cable if needed.	$65 - I will include one free game below under $10 and I will toss in a couple free mystery sports games (CIB)
Xbox 360	250GB - 360 Slim Console	Includes OEM power supply, controller and Kinect. I can probably include an HDMI cable if needed.	$85 - I will include one free game below under $10 and I will toss in a couple free mystery sports games (CIB)
Xbox 360	Dead Space 3	PH - CIB	$5
Xbox 360	Fable 2 Limited Edition	BL/Boxed - No special features disc - Includes manual	$9
Xbox 360	Fable 3	BL - CIB	$6
Xbox 360	Forza 4	BL - CIB	$6
Xbox 360	Grand Theft Auto 5	BL - Boxed w/map	$6
Xbox 360	Halo 3 Limited Edition Steel book w/sleeve (minor damage)	BL - Includes manual, but no book..	$15
Xbox 360	Hitman HD Trilogy - Premium Edition	BL -CIB - With slipcoveartbook. Moderate wear.	$20
Xbox 360	Mortal Kombat	BL - Boxed (No Manual)	$8
Xbox 360	NBA Live 2010	BL - CIB	$6
Xbox 360	NBA 2K18	BL - CIB	$16
Xbox 360	Portal 2	BL - Boxed (No Manual)	$5
Xbox 360	Test Drive Unlimited	BL - CIB	$12
			Take all 360 games <$10 for $35 Shipped ($51 ind.) Or all for $79 Shipped.
Xbox One	Battlefield 4 Steelbook Edition	CIB	$12
Xbox One	Dark Souls 3	CIB	$9
Xbox One	Madden 22	CIB	$5
Xbox One	Prototype BioHazard Bundle	CIB	$35
Xbox One	Rare Replay	CIB	$9
Xbox One	Skylanders Trap Team	CIB	$32
Xbox One	UFC 3	CIB	$6
Xbox One	Watch Dogs 2	CIB	$5
Xbox One	Wolfenstein The New Order	CIB	$7

​

NINTENDO
NES	Bart vs The Space Mutants	Manual Only	$8
NES	Gradius	Manual Only	$11
NES	Mega Man 1	Manual Only	$65
NES	Mission Impossible	Manual Only	$5
NES	NES Advantage controller	Manual Only	$5
NES	Zodas Revenge	Manual Only	$12
NES	Kung Fu	Loose	$12
NES	Ninja Gaiden II	Loose	$11
NES	Skate or Die	Loose - Worn/snagged top label	$4
NES	Wizards and Warriors III	Loose - Worn/torn top label	$24
NES	Game Genie	Loose - Chip in handle	$15
SNES	Buster Busts Loose	Manual Only	$8
SNES	Hey Punk! Are You Tuff E Nuff?	Manual Only	$10
SNES	Lawnmower Man	Manual Only	$5
SNES	Mega Man X	Manual Only	$17
SNES	World Heroes	Manual Only	$9
N64	Standard N64 Console	Includes OEM expansion pack.	$80
Wii	Mario Party 8	BL - Boxed	$28
Wii	Metroid Other M	BL - Sealed	$22
Wii	Red Steel	BL - Boxed (No Manual)	$5
Wii	Trauma Center Second Opinion	BL - CIB	$9
Wii U	Super Mario 3D World	BL - CIB	$14
NDS	Red Super Mario Bros 25th Anniversary Edition DSi XL	Loose - With charger. Does have some minor wear and teascuffs on corners	$80 - Pending
NDS	Spiderman Shattered Dimensions	Loose	$10
NDS	Spyro The Eternal Night	Loose	$10
3DS	Super Smash Bros 3DS	Loose	$10
Gameboy	Ren and Stimpy Veediots	Manual Only	$5

​
MISCELLANEOUS

• X-Men Cartoon Maker - PC - CIB - Very good condition - $8
• Naruto Best Hit Collection CD w/Slipcover - $12
• Lots of Magic the Gathering, Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh cards, DBZ cards/ Funko Pops, Bakugan. Pokémon cards can be seen here and here. MTG here and here.

I (24f) have a large cyst on the outer lip and a small one on the other side. I haven’t had sex so I know it’s not an STD. What’s the deal with this? How do I fix this? It’s starting to hurt a little (possibly because I thought it could be popped and I messed with it too much.) Any advice?

I drive a 2017 Chevrolet Cruze, and it's got just over 31,500 miles on it. Outside of some minor cosmetic things that would require a basic wipe down and vacuum in the interior, and washing a thin layer of mud off of it, the vehicle is in perfectly good shape.
Now, that said, there are two vehicles I'm currently looking at, as I'm trying to basically do a 1 to 1 trade.
The first vehicle is priced at $12,995, and is a 2017 VW Passat SE 6A. It's got an all leather interior, heated seats, pushbutton start, sunroof, (new) Cooper all season tires, brand new windshield, new brakes, and as far as I can tell, the vehicle has been kept in near pristine condition outside of those replacements. The vehicle also seems to have a clean record, with no accidents, no theft/illegal activity reported, and only one previous owner. The only catch is that it's currently sitting at around 145,000 miles driven.
The dealer has literally been trying to sell this specific vehicle for almost a year now. The earliest records I can find of it being for sale (other than from the factory, to the original owner) was April of 2022. It's kind of worrying, but for the life of me I can't find anything wrong with it yet other than the miles being as high as they are. This dealer's been pretty... inconsistent, when it comes to our arrangement, though. He approved of a 1 to 1 trade, but told me the we should both run some numbers and do some more research, and talk about it on Monday. Good thing he told me to, because I realized that my car was worth a ton of money in trade-in value, and the MSRP was (obviously) higher than that. Once I brought up that I saw how the price range was looking, he went from not remembering a thing about my vehicle to knowing that he needed to do a whole bunch to the car, and refused to accept me getting it checked out anywhere else, and was trying to deduct the cost of his 'repairs' from the lowest possible estimate on a spectrum that was shown on a site with the lowest estimate for trade-in value that I've seen, though even then, it wasn't fully accurate based on the actual condition of my car. In other words, it got shady.
Anyway, I'm here for cars lol.
So the next car is a 2015 Hyundai Sonata 2.4L SE. It's.... pretty much just that. It's comfy, it's been well taken care of, new brakes, and... that's it. It's just a pretty standard, comfy, reliable looking car. The gas pedal could do with some adjusting imo, but that could just be a preference thing. This dealer wanted to compete with the other one I had mentioned (thank goodness), and offered me a $13k check for my car, or $14,000 in trade-in, which would line up nearly perfectly with the car I was looking at, since it was going for exactly that much, minus the obvious DMV fees and the like, which they'd ask that I cover if I take that deal.
Do either of these deals seem practical? Should I wait and hope prices drop? I know my car is worth more in trade-in value than dealerships I've visited (so far) are willing to give me, these two just happen to be less blatant in trying to lowball me. Also, as far as the Passat goes, I'm very curious about that one, since it's both cheaper and nicer, so any insight on that would certainly be appreciated.
Also, I just wanted to edit this so that people know that I understand the differences between pricing models, things like wholesale, trade-in, cash sale, MSRP, etc. and I know that obviously dealers aren't necessarily going to pay top dollar, but so far, there's been a pretty enormous gap lol. I know they have to make their money back, too, but I wanted to include this in case someone read through the post and got the impression that I was approaching this without having done research into how these things work and why.

So, as the title suggests, sounds whatever, right? Heres the story:
We have been together since January 2021. At the beginning stages of our relationship, he stated that he used to smoke cigarettes and vape but has not done so in a couple years. Smoking/vaping is a deal breaker for me due to the fact that my whole family smokes and lung cancer runs in the family + I don't want to be with someone who is addicted to anything. He has known this from the beginning, and has told me that that part of his life is over (he used to go clubbing a lot and vaping/smoking was his only vice - he has said he has never done any drugs or even smoked weed). Fast forward to a couple months ago, I caught him vaping - you know how vapes always smell sweet with a hint of nicotine? Yeah well I could smell it on his breath. This really broke my trust because Its not the fact that he was vaping, but the fact that he felt the need to hide it. I brought it up with him the same night because I felt empty and I started crying - It wasn't something that I was able to hide how I felt about. His story was that he went out with friends, bought a disposable vape, and said that he had no intention of buying another. He promised me that he would not vape, and IF he felt the need to, he would tell me before buying another. I know how addiction works, I know that he may not be able to quit cold turkey after that; I explained to him that as long as he is trying to not vape, and his goal would be to quit for good, I would be okay with it but would like communication regarding this. But he made a big show that he was done, and threw it in the garbage right in front of me.
Now, present day - the last couple weeks, he comes home from work, gives me a kiss and I can instantly smell that he was vaping again. He just got a new job in February, and has seeming to be working a lot. Now I don't think he is cheating, or anything, but I think there may be a bad influence at work who takes smoke breaks that he joins in with, or something. He has started to come home and not kiss me right away, or comes home with coffee or snacks every night - I assume he thinks that this will hide the smell of it when he exhales near me? Its gotten to the point that he thinks he has gotten away with it because he is VAPING IN THE HOUSE. I can smell it from any room he is in, just by walking into the room. This makes me feel disrespected among like my feelings don't matter, etc. Anyways. I have not brought it up this time that I know, instead I have been acting differently - more like a roommate would because at this point he has broken my trust and I feel disrespected. He has also stopped saying I love you during phone calls, or before bed etc. Should I bite the bullet here and break up with him, or give him an ultimatum, etc... Advice?

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Hello. I've got this weird dream about reading a fanfic. As far as I remember it was about Dream and Tommy locked somewhere together (again, hah). Tommy remembers exile, but not much after. He is ill and need to stay in bed most time of the day, and Dream takes care about him. Dream is genuinely sad whenever Tommy says anything about Logstedshir. Dream trying to convince Tommy that this is their exile, Tubbo banished Tommy and George banished Dream. They can return to L'manburg only if they learn how to deal with each other. So they spent a few years together and became friends, but Tommy jumped in the water and hit his head so can't remember a thing. He imagined different story about their exile with this thing called Logstedshir. Dream don't understand why, cause they were such a good friends, they were ready to leave, but now they can't - firstly because Tommy is sick, secondly because he hates Dream once again. Dream continues to take care and convince Tommy that all he remembers is a lie, they get some visitors, find some stuff that looks like evidence to Dreams story. Tommy starts to believe... Of course it was all a lie. After Tommy left his exile (after pillar) he didn't make it to Technoblade, Dream caught him again and did this. I don't remember how this story ended, but if you want to write it properly I will be glad to read it :)

Hi,
My (34F) parents have always wanted elaborate details about my life even though I haven't lived with them for over a decade, and I have given them thinking it makes them happy. But somehow my father always finds faults in all my decisions and it makes me very upset every time. My husband who is super supportive always tells me to not give many details
Currently I am in the middle of moving countries and jobs. I had couple of offers and accepted one because that was the only one offering me an option to work remotely, and therefore we decided to move to a smaller city with lower cost of living. As usual I ended up telling about our decision to my parents, and got an earful from them about how my decision is wrong and I should have chosen the other job offer (they aren't even in my field of work and have no idea how the industry is). They mocked my husband too. He is usually a jolly person when he's conversing with anyone (does not mean he doesn't take decisions seriously). We have always made all our decisions together. My husband just tells me to ignore it, and he doesn't take it to heart either, but it bothers me so much, that I just burst into tears at one point. My dad's way of talking is so caustic it really hurts.
How do I deal with this ?
Tldr: My parents are too interfering and I need to know how to enforce stronger boundaries.

15 years together. We got married and planned a future together. We were in love. Over time, love changes. That’s one of the great things about marriage. You learn to accept and embrace this new love with your partner. You though, you couldn’t. You strives for this perfect relationship after your love changed. I was no longer good enough. You asked for an open marriage. I was desperate to save ours so I agreed. You purposely fell in love with someone else. It fucking hurts. You knew it would. Your dishonesty. Your lies. You don’t care though. You immediately wanted to leave me. But if you left me, she didn’t want you. Now you’re throwing it all away. You don’t want to try again with us. You have no remorse, no sadness.
This is what I am dealing with. I want to just go numb. I need to go numb so that I can just stop feeling for a while. My heart and mind need a break. Don’t worry, I’m not having any types of thoughts to harm myself. I just need to rest so I can put on a mask and power through the day.
I’m angry. I’m hurt. I am so fucking angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel that I am severely struggling with a lot mentally. I seek validation from others too much.
I have a void I always try to fill. I say dumb things often and cry and try too much recently. I want to be a better person, and I'm sad that I feel I push others away often. I am in pain emotionally inside.
I strive for something that isn't achievable, which is wanting and knowing that I will have something in my life that I can always rely on, and that will always be there no matter what, for good and bad times. I really don't want to seem that I'm too much to deal with for others. I just am sorry for that.

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My(f29) mom passed away suddenly in the middle of last year and it hit me hard. I moved away from home 5 years ago and now live an 18 hour flight away. The last time I saw her was before the pandemic when i managed to visit for a week.
It happened completely out of the blue. One day she was telling me she didn't feel too well, she maybe had a cold, the next she was heading into hospital for treatment because she was having difficulty breathing. It took 2 days to go from nothing to me getting a call from my cousin in tears telling me she was gone. No one was even that worried, we all thought she'd be fine. The doctors said she'd be fine but she just suddenly crashed in the night.
I've never been the beat with dealing with trauma. I have a traumatic past and have gone through some things that I've been to therapy for and I know I've developed some unhealthy coping mechanisms. One of which is just shutting down and getting on with things. Sounds fine? It's not. It means I don't deal with things. And it's not a decision I make, it just happens and then one day suddenly I realise wait, I'm not fine, I'm in fact very not fine.
It really sucks because I can go on for months thinking I'm ok and not suffering and then one day everything just hits me all at once.
Well that's what happened here. When I heard the news I cried harder than I ever have in my life. I live with my boyfriend and he was home when I got the news. He was worried because he'd never heard me cry like that before. After the initial tears I sort of went into survival mode and just started preparing for my trip home to get everything arranged. I told myself I could grieve when I get there but until then I needed to push through.
We booked the first possible flight and we're on our way. While I was there it was a lot of getting things done, speaking to family, passing in the news to her few friends and having to sit there as they all cried at me about the sudden news and how they'd miss her.
Now, I didn't really leave my mom in the best position. My family has never been a very stable one and after I left it feels like things fell apart even more. My dad divorced my mom and it was messy. He ended up getting married to someone he worked with and that hit hard. My mom hadn't worked since before she had my older brother so she didn't have much if anything to fall back on.
She was always struggling for money and would ask me every now and then for money for bills. I hate how I responded, I was cruel. I had the money, but I told myself not to get tricked into funding her for the rest of my life. Looking back I wish I'd spent every paycheck making her life better.
I have a lot of regrets about how I treated her. She was by no means a Saint but she loved me and took care of me. She developed paranoid schizophrenia when I was in college and caused me so much stress I ended up dropping out because I couldn't deal with it. She then kept on bringing up how I gave up and I disappointed her and my father so much. I hated it, but I never once blamed her to her face. I knew if I did she'd just say I was making excuses. But it wasn't her fault. She was sick and eventually she got help and the medication she needed. She became herself again. I'm glad I managed to get her that help at least, that she didn't have to go to the end feeling so scared.
But that's just how it's been for the past year. I keep thinking about how much I miss her, then remember the times she was cruel or spiteful, then feeling guilty because despite everything she was my mom.
This turmoil has led me to be damned near useless in everyday life. I go through the motions. I get up, go to work, get home and eat my dinner then just go to bed. All the while pretending I'm ok. And usually it's fine. But I feel empty, aimless. I've stopped doing my share of the chores all together. My boyfriend, bless him, has been nothing but supportive. He's the only person who really sees my pain and the main reason I'm making this post. I feel so guilty that I've put so much on him. I've tried doing everything I can to actually grieve. To force myself to face the pain. Even this post is one such attempt. If I talk through it maybe I can actually start healing. Because as it stands as soon as no one is around or as soon as I need to try to sleep it pushes through and I'm a mess.
I cry almost as hard as that first day. I cry so much my chest hurts and my throat feels raw. Sometimes I force myself to cry quietly so that my boyfriend can sleep.
It doesn't help that when I do actually fall asleep I have incredibly vivid dreams (a reaction to some of my medication) that have been about nothing but my mom, and going home and regrets.
I want to get back to doing my share of the work. I want to get back to feeling like myself. I know I'm depressed. I was depressed before this happened, for completely different reasons. I'm already on medication for it and already in therapy. I don't know what else to do. I'm so tired of feeling sad and empty.
By all accounts my life is going well. I have a job and a house and a living supportive boyfriend. I can put a smile on my face and go through my days without issue. But inside its just pain and I feel so guilty for not enjoying the life that I have. Especially when most of my guilt comes from not giving my mom a better one.

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