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Hi everyone, this is the first chapter of my debut novel. For information and links to other chapters click the link down below :
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The Great One sat on his throne, gazing longingly into the hearts of man. Something was coming and he could feel it. Destiny riding on a white steed, like the tales of man long ago, coming to uncover his secrets. He could see it all, the wall, the castle, and the so-called gods that built it all. The ego of these creatures was laughable, if only the Great One could still laugh. He could still speak sure, but only through means not of man’s common means. Vocal cords were a commodity long since lost in this place.
As the Great One observed the coming destiny he could feel the approaching storm, in a hail of flesh and blood, the only things that the Great One lacked. He would never give up, never retreat to these things as they approached, for this was the Great One. He looked back to the castle, viewing the scene in its entirety, and he felt something like happiness enter him.
Divinity. That is what connected the walls surrounding Dundis castle, not stone or metal, this was not a mere wall but a divine gift from ones above. Divinity sealed the wall, made it whole, the walls sealed together without mark or blemish, something no man could ever replicate. The wall had stood for a century, and would likely last ten more, there was no weakness, no flaw in design. 50 metres tall the wall was unscalable, unbreakable. No man could break the wall, it was the Vaunghe empire’s crowning gift, their wonder of the world. Those that were hired to clean the wall’s dirt and grime were heralded as the truly faithful, and all longed to help the gift of the gods. And yet despite this the Alizian’s watched, standing with armies around the great wall, waiting to breach its crust and destroy the core.
The Vaunghe had watched their foes throw everything they had, hundreds of men attacking the steel doors of the wall to no avail, an attempted archer attack quickly squashed by the wall's height. The Alizian military was strong, a blend of the Alizian warriors and Strolim blacksmiths made for a truly terrifying army. The army was so terrifying that the Vaunghe inside the castle doubted there were any more Vaunghe troops left, this was the end to a long battle between man and man. Even the soldiers left weren’t particularly important, just those lucky enough to guard the king and a few trainees. But the Vaunghe felt their luck running out.
The food supplies had run low, even if the nobles weren’t in the castle there was no chance of resupply. The few men who had eaten in the past few days stood alert, gazing down from the ramparts at the enemy. The soldiers knew they had to either surrender or fight, but the Vaunghe were passionate people, they could never leave behind their identity in favour of life. So the men waited, bows and arrows at the ready, for the next attack. Heavy items such as ingots and chairs lined the rampart, ready to be thrown off at a moments notice.
They had waited in this position for many cycles, and as day turned to night, and night turned to day the Vaunghe were exhausted, finished with whatever feeble attacks these barbarians had planned. They could throw whatever armies and arrows they wanted at the wall but it would remain unphased, forevermore. When the Alizian’s next attacked they would be met with the last strength of the Vaunghe, and it would be a story remembered for milenia by man and the gods.
As the morning sun rose over the wall, the enemy was revealed in all their glory. Even from so high above the Vaunghe could see the glint of silver from the Alizian military. The bright greens of the Alizian armour created a dazzling sensation that they were one with the grass, which blended in so perfectly with their clothes. They stood in their thousands, armed with whatever they could find, and even on the wall the men could see him.
The slaughterer, the murderer, the man, the myth and the legend Osmund stood alone on an overlooking hill. The fiend was well known by the Vaunghe, he was likely the greatest foe that had come from the opposing sides. Vaunghe generals often fled at his coming, or surrendered first, but rumour had it that Osmund gave no mercy. Overseeing his army to destroy everything that was left, the Vaunghe soldiers knew today really was the end. The figure on the hill moved closer to his army and screamed. The battle-cry of the Alizian’s shook fear into each of the Vaunghe atop the rampart, being so loud that it even reached so high.
The hundreds of troops began to move in sync, forming three individual groups of soldiers, with 10 metre spaces between each. Each contingent comprised six hundred men, easily dwarfing the 82 Vaunghe soldiers that were left. But the Vaunghe were not afraid, at least not afraid of a breach anytime soon. These walls were built to withstand any damage, no man could breakthrough one.
Between the troops was movement, indeed there seemed to be movement down all three rows of men in blue. The Strolime empire had finally revealed themselves, with their short stature and mental prowess the Strolime were gifted inventors not expected to appear on the battlefield. And yet here they were, almost one hundred of them hauling forth three large metallic objects. The sun bounced off of these objects into the Vaunghe’s eyes.
None of the men had ever seen objects like these, seemingly composed of pure metals and on wheels. Some thought they were a testament to the gods, some holy objects, others believed it to be some new invention from the Strolime, however none of them could say anything for certain as they were pushed closer and closer to the wall. The Strolomites stopped in their advance, approximately 20 metres away from the wall. The purpose of these objects had yet to dawn on the men, although one of the younger men on the rampart claimed he could see small objects poking through the metal, which was now aimed at a forty-five degree angle towards the wall.
As the Strolimites halted their advance many began to move away into the safety of the Alizian wall, likely afraid of any precautionary Vaunghe archers. One of them, a rather short and plump soldier, stayed with the object, placing a hand on it and turning to the wall. It was a fleeting moment, but for a second it seemed the man was gazing at the Vaunghe soldiers in shame. One last condemnation to the ones that began this war, before it would all come crashing down. But then the moment passed, and the short man moved as the rest did, doing a slight zig zag to avoid arrows.
And now, just as quickly they had come, the Strolomite’s were gone in the ranks of the Alizians, still waiting in their groups for something, and then they came. Three figures, two women and a man, moved between the lines just as the Strolimites before them. These three wore no armour, only the greens of Alizia upon their tunics. They stood beside the objects and began to reach their arms into the underside of it. Before the Vaunghe’s eyes the objects began to turn slightly, aiming even more directly at the wall.
One of the Vaunghe had enough of this display, and raised his bow. There were low winds on this day, and he was a good enough shot to reach at least one of the Alizian soldiers. He aimed his bow, finger on the drawstring, and released. It is likely that this arrow would’ve drawn first blood in this battle, however the arrow never reached its target.
In the split second before the release of the bow, the Vaunghe noticed the smoke billowing out of the bottom of the devices, the flames that shot out, and finally they noticed for not even a fraction of a second the object that shot out of the metallic thing, something white and red that hit the wall in an instant.
The wall shook, and the following barrage of these objects shattered any notion of divinity. Crashing and crumbling the rampart was launched, sending soldiers flying everywhere. The Vaunghe beside the wall were subject to the falling rubble, both the crumbling stone of the walls and the miscellaneous objects they had left upon the wall. All of the objects crushed the few Vaunghe left, save for the few sickly starving soldiers left inside the castle’s inner walls.
Down went the walls, such a harsh strike against the wall that nothing stood in the path of this monster. The roaring splattered through the castle, the screams of the falling wall waking the King himself from his slumber. Such a vast creation had fallen in seconds before the might of the Alizian’s, and now there was nothing left but to watch the battle unfold.
Smoke flooded the inner walls of the castle, casting the few remaining into fits of coughing and blindness. The walls finished their crumbling, and yet the roars didn’t stop. These were not the roars of the wall but the war cries of the soldiers outside, and they began to get louder, echoing through the walls of Dundis and into the ears of the weak nobles and soldiers.
Through the smoke they came, weapons raised and charging the weak. The few that tried to fight were slaughtered, cut down by a sea of green soldiers. Those that were choking, sputtering or raising their hands in defeat were spared, hauled through the hordes and into one of the stables facing the inner wall. They were to be tried and jailed, for no human regardless of their crime should be killed. It is simply not the Alizian way.
Out of the one hundred and fifty two people who were in Dundis, forty two had died in the wall’s destruction, and a further eleven were detained by the Alizian military. There was nothing that the Vaunghe could do, save for locking their doors, shield themselves and hold out for as long as possible. The Vaunghe forces built barricades in their castle, locking away the Alizian combatants for as long as possible. And during all of this Osmund waited. Waiting for his time to end this war, this travesty of battle that had gone on for too long, and that time finally came.
* * * *
Osmund stood alone atop the hill, and watched the madness unfold. The walls crumbled at the face of these weapons with no more effort than a straw house, and the plumes of smoke assaulted his men, although not to the extent of the inner wall. After a few moments of sputtering and choking the men cheered, for this was the moment that they had been waiting for, the end of such a long war now in the Alizian’s favour.
The Vaunghe capital was in shambles, their military long crushed underneath Osmund’s almighty power, and all that was left was the King. Hiding behind his walls as if he didn’t deserve this loss, this final failure in his life. Osmund was willing to spare as many people as he could, it was the Alizian code, but there would be no mercy for the King. This wasn’t one final battle between two great armies, that conflict happened weeks ago, this was the last breaths of a psychotic monarch being silenced amongst the last of his troops.
Osmund gazed longingly at Dundis, the ruined walls and advancing soldiers and doubted. He felt something was off, something was very wrong with all of this. His heart began to thump, as Osmund’s eyes turned every way to understand what was wrong, what abnormality was here. It grew and grew, Osmund began to shake at what was about to happen, nothing was right here Osmund should be somewhere else helping someone, there’s something wrong here something very-
Peace. Osmund’s heart stopped thumping, body stopping its perpetual shaking. He looked again to the marching troops, now almost entirely inside the walls, and looked back to his back, and the reserve Strolomites that now stood. They were cheering, marvelling at the success of the assault, and how the god’s gift had saved so much effort on their part.
Such strange creations composed of metal and flame, Osmund marvelled at the power the gods possessed. These devices were so unique in design Osmund doubted if any army could defeat them. The large red tubes they released could easily destroy an entire village by itself, but with one hundred of them an entire valley could be bathed in flames. Something truly abnormal in this world, something so parallel to the code of battle that no army would ever think of it.
The Vaunghe were once considered to be the greatest fighters, with the tournaments they created bringing forth the greatest warriors from throughout the land. Their dedication and power were unmatched in ferocity and violence, some called the Vaunghe the standing due to their unmatched will to always get back up. Osmund recalled his days in the tournaments, those peaceful days when he was not yet a hero to people, but a simple military man. He was still only Osmu back then, and yet even those of the time knew he would be something special. As Christoff used to say, ‘Ozzie you’re going places, big ones’. Osmund missed Christoff, It had been so long since their last meeting, and all Osmund wanted was to meet again one last time.
Osmund’s assistant came to him, a younger Strolomite by the name of Gizmu. Gizmu was rather muscular for a Strolomite, a strong figure contrasting his associates' plumper bodies, and stature was fairly tall for one of his people at 6’5 ft tall. Hazel hair protruded through a blue helmet, and for the first time Osmund considered what his assistant could look like. Gizmu was one of the many Strolomite’s who refused to show their face until military success, a tradition that Osmund respected. He had no doubt that Gizmu's true face would one day be revealed to him, as the man possessed genuine prowess in the fields of agriculture, something sorely missed in the modern military.
“Osmund, your team is preparing now, they’ll come soon. I advise you to prepare your armour sir, as it won’t be long before you’re sent in.” Osmund sensed mild concern in Gizmu’s voice, but didn’t pursue it.
“Thank you Gizmu, my friend. I’ll begin my preparations, tell the guests to meet me here when they are fully prepared. And do ensure they understand that there is still risk of injury on this mission, ensure each of them wears their armour.” Osmund’s voice was deep and echoed his long life, commanding a sense of authority amongst all Alizian forces.
Osmund left the hill, passing the cheering Strolomite’s and the peasant farmers who supported the army, and entered the rows of tents. They stretched out on either side, one for every four soldiers, until he reached his own tent. Entering Osmund was surprised to discover a fellow commander still asleep in his bed, snoring away peacefully.
Osmund removes his upper clothing, the clean tunic falling to the ground. While removing these clothes Osmund kicks the sleeping man in the leg, which doesn’t actually amount to anything rather than halting his snoring. Osmund kicks the sleeping soldier again, this time in the buttocks, which does a far better job of riling him. The man looks around wide-eyed, before settling onto the sight of the giant Osmund.
“Hey, why'd you kick me? I almost had a bleedin’ heart attack don’t you know not to meddle with a sleepin man?”
“Don’t you know that you were meant to be on the battlefield at the crack of dawn? I don’t know what kind of promotion you’re expecting when you aren’t even going on the battlefield. Do you really want to be Balmun forever?” Osmund spoke coldly, now reaching for his chestplate.
“Well no sir. But the thing is I actually have a very cunning plan, I thought of it all myself.” A smile falls upon the man’s face, whose head bears an uncanny resemblance to a potato.
“And what is that?” Osmund halted his preparations briefly.
“Well if I say I was there but didn't actually go, who’d think I wasn’t? I can just sleep through it all until the battle is won and no one would be the wiser.” Osmund puts a hand onto Balmun’s fleshy shoulder.
“A fine plan, if I wasn’t your commanding officer you buffoon. By the gods I believe some divine creator mistakenly put a turnip in your head instead of a brain because no noble’s son has ever been as frankly idiotic as you have. You’re coming with me to the battlefield, and I suggest you get dressed or you’ll be facing the last of the Vaunghe army with your flopping cock dancing for all to see.” Balmun stood and began to slip some clothes on, as Osmund completed his own set of armour.
Osmund’s armour bore the mark of a noble family, some rich fools who wanted their family crest to be associated with a bloody conflict and a dangerous murderer. Osmund wore it because of the armour’s quality, customfit to encompass Osmund’s 9’5 ft tall body, something no other armour was able to achieve. Osmund’s height was always an oddity, reaching far above the average 8ft heights of most Alizian’s, and making him one of the tallest figures in the lands. It was this height and his skin’s colour that earned him the name of the black death, which he wasn’t particularly fond of due to the mention of his skin. And even then Osmund certainly didn’t feel like a black death, whatever that was meant to be, rather he felt like death itself. Osmund was to be fifty years old by the end of the week, and it showed on his body. The hair that was left on his head was grey, and while still possessing an impressive form Osmund’s body was not in its prime, he was old.
Osmund looked at himself in the full body mirror, grabbing his longsword and leaving the tent, dragging a half dressed Balmun with him. Back through the tents they travelled, back past the now eager Strolomite’s and atop the hill where Osmund’s infiltration team stood. In any other battle Osmund would’ve despised the one that left this group with him, a collection of subpar and mediocre soldiers with all the military future of an Otter in a stew. But then again Osmund’s battle history did feature a lot of important people dying under his watch, so perhaps this was for the better.
The force began with Edmun, a cross between a prostitute and a noble who unfortunately takes more from the noble. An egotistical brat, as well as a greedy goblin of anything that isn’t bolted down, Osmund had borne the unfortunate duty of his company for months, since the initial assault on the capitol. The man could barely hold a weapon, save for slight skill with a flail of all things which he wore by his side. It was a gold plated flail as well, specifically made for beating in the heads of the poor Vaunghe soldiers stupid enough to get close. Blonde hair obscured blue eyes that spoke to his red-light mother, in fact for a noble’s son Edmun had all the appearance of an incestuous dullard. The man had survived by pure luck, and was the only casualty that Osmund wanted his side to suffer.
The Enick twins Humun and Eumun were up next, named after their family crest of the god of alcohol Enick. In contrast to Edmun these were a pair of real soldiers, Osmund had seen the fruits of their labour many times. They were great at the art of flanking, Humon’s greataxe paired alongside Eumun’s spears proved to be an unbeatable combination. The only issue that Osmund had with the pair was their… peculiar relationship. While the two were great fighters, whenever they were together anything else became impossible to comprehend. Osmund had once caught the pair attempting to seduce a goat wearing a knight’s helm, and while they were drunk there is still clear evidence of idiocy amongst them. The pair were identical in appearance, burly figures of 8’5ft, short cut black hair and overgrown beards stretching down their faces, however the distinguishing feature between the two was Eumon’s cleft lip, which gave his speech a lisp.
Josmu was far more a scholar than a soldier, although Osmund enjoyed his presence greatly. Since they first met the pair had hit it off, often discussing each other’s lives in Alizian taverns across the kingdom. A gifted archer, Josmu was the son of two aspiring poets and enlisted into the military voluntarily to assist in the war efforts. Osmund had a great deal of respect for the man, and hoped that the two would one day have a drink together, and ruminate on the past once more.
And then there was Jumun, a gifted soldier and one of the few Osmund thought could take him in his prime. Long strands of red hair ran down her rough face, a pointed nose and peculiar eyebrow shape giving her a perpetual look of disappointment. At a height of 9’2 ft she stood almost toe to toe with Osmund, in fact there were many aspects about her that reminded Osmund of himself. The first was her attitude, she treated every war as a tragedy of its own, and yet she would never fail to perform against her enemies. Skilled in most weapons Jumun’s life had been long and arduous, her worn out armour covered in patches and dents. Osmund had offered her a new set of armour once, to which she vehemently refused, telling Osmund that she wished to end the war in the armour she started it in. Currently she held a single large sword nearly identical to his own, and Osmund predicted that she couldn’t wait for the battle to be over.
The group stood facing the smoking walls, watching the now descending Strolomite’s retrieve the three gifts from the gods. Pushing them back up the hill would take tremendous strength and a long time, which is why nearly double the number of Strolomite’s assisted in the endeavour. Osmund cleared his throat, prompting the looks of the team. All of their eyes were of Balmun, who was somehow already panting after a 2 minute drag through the ground. Osmund released the man and pushed him towards his new comrades, to which he sulked.
Osmund could see through the smoke of the ruins now, noting the strangely high number of bodies present from Osmund’s view. It appeared that there were more forces than originally estimated, as it was initially guessed there were around one hundred and fifty soldiers inside. Judging by the number of corpses inside those numbers clearly forgot to account for the possibility of trainees inside of the castle. This may be a slightly larger fight than initially predicted, although even supposing there were another hundred or so trainees locked inside rooms there were things Osmund could do against that.
“Alright then, good to see that some of you actually bothered to wake up today, Balmun, and I think we all know that this mission is going to end the war.” Balmun raised his hand.
“Yes Balmun?”
“Sir I have a very cunning pl-”
“Shove your plans up your slacker buttocks, you idiot. Now then, I’m gonna say this once, because quite frankly the more chances I give Balmun to interrupt the more likely I’ll butcher myself with this sword. Now then we are the backbone to the forces, our mission is to help take individual points of conflict from alternative points. We will accomplish this with the leaked maps of the castle gained from Vaunghe intelligence. Now then, originally it was believed that we were dealing with only around one hundred and fifty troops, but it looks like someone didn’t remember the number of rookie troops that are trained here, so we could be looking at a few more troops than expected.” Osmund saw the hand raised but tried to ignore it. The man with the potato for a head seemed adamant however, and raised his hand higher. When that didn’t work he raised both arms.
“By the gods what is it?”
“Well sir, what kind of weapons do you think they have?” Osmund stopped in his tracks, not expecting anything even related to an actual important question. A smile formed on his face, it seems that even fools can think every now and again.
“Decent question my friend, we can probably expect the basic mix of swords and axes, likely shields also, but we may have one or two archers running around however it’s unlikely any survived the wall’s collapse.”
“That is good Osmund, once we take a few down I need a weapon, I like the swords myself.”
“What’s wrong with your sword?”
“I left it in the tent sir.” Osmund cupped his hands into his face, cringing against the stupidity of this man.
“Listen…. just everyone follow me please, I mean by the gods man. Come on. Listen I don’t think we will need any armour with us today, we have the single thickest piece of meat just over there as we speak.” Osmund points towards Balmun, who turns to see what everyone is looking at. Without another word Osmund begins to walk down the hill towards the castle, muttering things that even the gods consider a little racy.
* * * *
The ruins of Dundis stood firm in their strength, with the ruined walls blemishing what was once a grand fortress that none had penetrated. Tall spires protrude from the shapeless stone complex. Along the gateway was a path leading directly into the Dundis entrance, which stood slightly ajar. Fragments of the wall had crushed many parts of the outside, with simple wooden stables and trees crushed by the weight of the plummet of the debris. The architecture that remained spoke to the complexities of the Vaunghe, as spiralling patterns adorned the walls of the castle, interlaced with rare jewels that coated the walls. The Vaunghe were so fortunate with minerals that one could find them coating their walls, despite the fact that no one other than a fellow Vaunghe was ever meant to see such a thing.
A veil of embarrassment and determination clashed as the group descended the hill, weapons at the ready. The group had reached the ruins of the wall now, debris coating the grass and the bodies that were surely there. Even destroyed Osmund still felt some of that divine power the Vaunghe always babbled about, he felt the strength in the walls and not for the first time wondered why the gods would bestow such a gift upon such a vile group.
The group began clambering through the ruins, over the cracked pieces of stone and through the divine walls final remains. There was a smell here, the remnants of smoke colliding with the smell of blood, but there was a third smell, one that Osmund knew well. It was the smell of inevitability, heavy in the hair. That which is unlikely to happen always will happen, and when it does the smell adds to it all, the smell of fate and destiny runs through this place.
Inevitability hides everywhere, in the trees and the skies, carried by the wind through it all. From nature it was born, but in man it thrives, the building’s will one day fall, the kingdoms will fade away, and everything will one day lead to something else. From every beginning comes an end, and each end becomes a beginning, this is how it has always been. This place thought itself against such things, and inevitability infected its walls, creeping along slowly rotting the once great walls into a hellish nightmare. Now the bubble has burst, and the smell of inevitability crowds the world, taking over everything.
Moaning. A low whimper. A cry for something. Calls for assistance. A terrified yell. Osmund approaches the source of these noises, his team close behind. At the source of these screams is a Vaunghe soldier, somehow alive after the rampart’s collapse, covered in piles of stone and smoke. His outstretched hand reaches towards Osmund, who in turn takes it.
The man mutters something, sputters blood, and begins to fade. As he does, Osmund moves towards the rocks, feeling against it. Somehow the rocks aren’t as heavy as they should be, and Osmund slowly moves the rocks. The first and second rocks move, and after some struggling Osmund moves the third rock, revealing a bloody leg, spurting forward. Osmund realises how the man survived, the remains of a metal box squashed around him. As the rampart fell the man landed inside, narrowly missing an immediate demise. Now he sat, bleeding in and out of consciousness, and moaning for help. Osmund put his hands around the man, slowly lifting him, and moving forwards into the inner walls.
There are running medics here, and as they see Osmund’s approach they run to him, taking the injured man and placing him onto a table. The man may survive, they told Osmund, however his bleeding may take too much from him. As Osmund turns to leave he hears the voice, the message of the man.
“T-t-th-than-” It was shaky, interrupted by coughs and convulsions, but bore strength, and Osmund felt the ghost of a smile play upon him.
“It wasn’t an issue.” And with that Osmund left the tent, admiring the surroundings in focus for the first time. Eyes bore into him from his party, and yet no one said anything, they couldn’t. Many had called Osmund a monster in his time, they had seen him do bad things to bad people, and yet none would call him a monster, for there is no such thing. Osmund is not some black death, he’s another beast entirely.
For the first time Osmund admired his surroundings, the inner walls were now filled with wreckage, and looked back to the tent. It was amazing how quickly the medics could establish tents, the battle had occurred for less than an hour and already there were three tents established side by side. Besides the wounded Vaunghe soldier were three other injured soldiers, each seeming to be hit by a minor injury likely from the smoke inhalation.
The captured and surrendered were lined up against the castle's wall, being carefully monitored by over sixty members of the contingent. There were only around twelve or thirteen of the captured, smoke-covered and sputtering. On the ground were bodies, those rookies that tried so valiantly to protect what they cared for. They now lay, looking up to the sky blindly.
Osmund saw the bodies and felt his stomach turn. The desire came back. The shaking returned, alongside it the painful sharp stabbing thoughts. Everything changed, he forgot who he was. What kind of person would approve of this, what even was Osmund was he real or fake, how is he even conceiving things like this. What is reality and why is it real, why can’t he understand-
Silence. Peace. Osmund returned to himself, the shaking never happening at all. He looked down at the bodies and continued to walk. There was nothing he could do for them, not anymore. The eyes of his group bore into him, shattering something that had broken a long time ago. He raised his hand and motioned for his team to follow, leaving this travesty of death and life behind.
Footsteps. Osmund turned to their echoing sound, the way they bounced through the place was unbelievable, the way it echoed between the walls and the castle structure itself. Through open castle gates he ran, a messenger in green, sword in its scabbard and now approaching Osmund. The man tripped on something, a large rock of some sort, before standing, dusting himself off and reaching the group.
“Osmund, we have hit the enemy’s points of defence.” The man was young, maybe twenty, and no more than twenty five.
“And? Where are they?”
“There are three fronts, the first is in the scout’s tower where a group of Vaunghe are amassing weapons and barricades fast. We can no longer enter the tower, as the amount thrown down makes common entrance impossible. The second location is the garden, where we believe the last of the nobles and the King himself are. We’ve faced harsh opposition from the enemies, who have formed a wall of shields to protect the door. Finally we have the guard’s quarters, where a few amount of Vaunghe are in active combat as we speak, although that will likely be taken without need for intervention.”
“Good job soldier.”
“Thank you sir.”
Osmund removes a slip of paper from his garb, and admires it in the sunlight. It was a complex map of Dundis, including the secret passages and escape routes of the entire place. It cost the annulment of many Vaunghe men and women, but was worth all the effort. Consulting the map Osmund noted the existence of an escape passageway inside of the tower. It was obscured behind a wall, thus explaining the lack of windows on that side.
“Report back to your commander that we’ll begin with the tower, there are several clear passages into an alternative staircase. Launching a pincer attack we’ll defeat the enemy and allow for the redistribution of forces. By that time I expect the guard’s quarters to be taken, allowing us to completely overflow any opposition protecting the garden.”
“Yes Osmund, I will inform her now.” And with that the young warrior ran back through the castle’s long iron gates.
And thus, the final battle was upon them. Osmund looked upon Dundis, the last symbol of the people who had taken everything from him, the ones who had slaughtered so many innocents, so many that Osmund cared for, and now the end was finally in sight. But it didn’t feel like the end, Osmund could feel no conclusion approaching, it felt like something else, as if this was all leading into something more, some grand massacre the likes of which Osmund had never seen. There’s a darkness ahead, something far worse to come than the echoes of a fallen monarchy, and as Osmund stands he can feel it inside of him, gesturing sensually, awaiting his return to the beginning. In a mental prison of nonexistent existence lies the mother, a slight smile on her lips. She awaits the grasp of Osmund forevermore.

Hi! I am pre-everything, and still questioning myself and what I want. And while questioning, it just dawned on me that while liking girls may be one of the few things that remain constant with transitioning for me, the perception of my presences is extreme (I.e. very straight guy to very gay girl lol).
Dating was already a challenge for me as a straight introverted guy, but dating as a lesbian is probably significantly harder. While I hope that this questioning process will allow me to be more authentic and vulnerable with potential partners (somethings I struggled a lot with as a guy), I am have no idea how I would meet women who might share my preferences. At least knowing before transitioning may give some insight on what to mentally prepare for.
How have you ladies met your partners?

I’ve suspected for a few years now that I have ADHD, so I was hoping to share my experience with you!
So this might be a long one…
As a young child, everyone described me as a golden child, I wasn’t disruptive and I was polite. But in all honestly, my brain just wasn’t there.
I was pretty underperforming in primary school throughout, but because it wasn’t drastic it wasn’t picked up on. In subjects I found deathly boring I couldn’t concentrate at all, and I realise now I dissociated for a huge part.
BUT, in things I did love (art) I couldn’t be pulled away, I remember in year 2, we were colouring and I was told I had to go for break, I literally begged the teacher to let me finish it. It felt like, wow, there’s finally something I want to do and I’m not allowed to!?
Anyways, I want to add that I switched on to how I was different from a very young age, and I had a huge fear of doing anything.
A lot of times, in sports, I was told the rules and it’s like they went through one ear and out the other. I was aware there were things I couldn’t do and I avoided them like the plague. I also remember in year 5, a boy had the same birthday as me, and I said “we’re the same age, but you’re taller than me, you’re a boy, and, you’re also smarter than me”
It breaks my heart but I had the perpetuating belief that I was stupid, because, I just couldn’t do what everyone else was doing. I would be lying if I didn’t say that belief wasn’t still underlying.
Year 6 was a funny time, I had moved house and school, because we were so close to the school my mother figured I could take myself there (she worked nights so wasn’t around in the morning) and oh boy, I was late almost everyday. The school new how close I lived and were baffled 😂
I also was in detention pretty much every week because I completely forgot there was homework even due. It was during this time my teacher realised I was behind on maths, and I was kept behind on Thursdays, funnily enough the 1-1 engagement really helped.
Fast forward to secondary school (high school) I dropped sets almost instantly, because I just couldn’t focus. And it’s like all my anxiety about fitting in disappeared, I was so angry at the world, I was frustrated, lost and had no hope for the future.
I won’t go into details, but I developed self harming habits to deal with the lack of control I felt. I was constantly late, staying up late, skipping meals, underperforming, I became disruptive, constantly in isolation, skipping class, and whilst everyone knew there was something wrong with me, nobody dug deeper.
I left school with average grades, I excelled in the arts, everything else was meh. (I did my revision on the bus to my exams)
And then life got more interesting! I went to sixth form, got so behind I dropped out, went to college, got kicked out.
I worked several jobs, which I would love for a while until, one day, I just didn’t. I felt burnt out and then would quit on a whim. I also got fired.
I developed bad habits with drugs, and I had toxic, short lived relationships.
I decided one day to reset my life and went to university. Lectures were hell, so I didn’t go. Which is when I realised the power of HYPERFOCUS. I did all my assignments the night before to which my friends were like wtf how have you got better grades than us. I kept telling myself after every assignment that I would be different next time.
buuuuuuut, it’s like time disappeared and I was in the same situation again. I graduated though!
Now I’m back to working my life is kind of hell, I forget to pay bills, I find shopping overwhelming, I play too many games, I get behind on cleaning duties, I would lose my head if it wasn’t on my body, I can’t meet deadlines, I can’t feed myself, I can’t manage money, I’m so emotional, I don’t believe in myself, I die inside at the thought of rejection.
And so on… I have an assessment in July, and I’m hoping for some answers.
If you got this far without getting bored CONGRATULATIONS and have a beautiful day.
Edit: I realise whilst this post is quite negative, I’m excited to get answers! And whilst it’s hard to manage things right now, I know it’ll be easier in the future. For anyone wondering I also don’t engage in any self harming behaviour of any kind.
I do have a negative inner voice, but again, something I’m working on!
I’m really proud of how far I’ve come from the person I used to be.

I think it's funny that we're all -myself included- having a big struggle where to put "Deism" in the grand spectrum of religious and philosophical affiliations, what identifying as a Deist implies concerning our idea or description of God and what makes it unique compared to others. I want to say a couple of things based on my reading in the last 4 years.
In some conversations I come across remarks like "this is the Christian idea of God, Deism does not propose such and such". I don't think any of us are an authority on what Deism "requires" but it's certainly easily conflated with cultural atheism in the name of distinguishing it from religiosity. Also naturalist pantheism being labeled as Deism seems commonplace just because it's anti-Biblical.
To summarize my personal definition, Deism is nothing more or less than Philosophical Monotheism:
The idea that the universe (nature, time, space, matter, energy, laws of physics and motion) has an absolute literal beginning before which there was nothing, there was no 'before', but there was the Creator only, and the Creator (the transcendent but personal and intelligent being that is above and beyond the confinements of the universe, the only self-existent/uncaused entity) is responsible for the emergence of the universe.
We're talking about the "emergence" of time and space itself, which is incomprehensible to our minds, but rationally provable with the Uncaused Cause argument which states that the chain of causality can not go back forever in an infinite regress, and the arrow of time must have been fired at some point or else it would never have reached this very moment. (Another argument, called the ontological argument, states that the Highest Idea Conceivable can not possibly not exist as in that case we wouldn't have been able to conceive its idea in the first place.)
The alternative variants of opposition to this stance is a gigantic consensus of theistic and atheistic religions that have dominated much of history really, which all believe in unoriginated, eternal, self-existent universe. This point is important. I included atheism in 'religions' to the surprise of some because from the deistic pov it is considered illogical hence superstitious.
From the widespread ancient creation myths of the earliest civilizations to modern atheism, to name a few, in the Babylonian Enuma Elish, Hindu Vedas, Aristotelian cosmology, Hebrew Bible (specifically the Book of Genesis), and the Qur'an (verse 11:7 etc.); the uncontested idea was eternal cosmos.
The cosmos, the interwoven fabric of time and space, had existed since forever, going back to an eternal past without a beginning, ever been filled with chaotic primordial oceans that is the essence of matter (and of the age of agricultural settlements), and one day a Demiurge (Craftsman) with his pantheon who are all inhabitants here decide to bring shape, form, and order to this disordered watery realm. He uses this pre-existing matter, water, to sculpt a habitat called by the ancients "heaven and earth", a dome shaped planet with a stretched flat ground and hemispheric cover. Just like he will sculpt Adam from mud later. The reason the sky is blue is because there are waters above just like upon the earth, but confined behind a solid transparent platform held up by invisible columns. When the oceans were originally split in two, that's how the sky and the earth were distinguished. There are actual resting places of the sun and the moon in the far off edges of the world, and geographic locations in direct exposure to them. The stars are stations of heavenly beings. The highest layer of the sky behind the clouds houses the Heavenly Court, the pantheon of divine royalty who established themselves there after the creation was done, reigning over the earth.
This is the Biblical and more or less all of the ancient cosmology (Mormons and earth flatters got it right). In short, although there is a mighty royal figure responsible for crafting the dome-planet earth and bringing order to anarchy, the "universe" (time and space) that encapsulates it have no mention of being originated out of nothing here. Contrary to popular belief, the Genesis never claimed or was interested in any creator or creation of nature, it merely gave a mythological account of how the observable world earned its current shape and state. It didn't say that the "heaven and earth" was the entire universe or spacetime spectrum itself; or that matter(waters), the raw material of the world, needed to be created by a higher power. Rather, the Demiurge and his minions had been living in the universe for quite some time, spending their days not knowing what to do with all the watery chaos, until one day they begin a construction that takes 6 working days plus 1 resting day.
It's the Scholastic and Kalam philosophy that first proposed an absolute creation for nature/spacetime and attributed Supreme qualities to the non-anthropomorphic higher power responsible for it. Later, 17-18th century Enlightenment thinkers divorced this Creator from scriptural religion altogether. But rationalist philosophy that developed even among scriptural scholars had ever been contra-Biblical which is why they had been debating how to reconcile reason and revelation for centuries since Thomas Aquinas and before.
In short, Monotheism in this modern sense emerged with philosophy developed even among clerical circles and perfected(?) per se by Enlightenment Deism.
It is important to have the right idea about what organized religion (Judaism, Christianity, Islam) really is to distinguish it from Deism. With their scriptural tenet of eternal cosmos, a pantheon of multiple divine figureheads or demi-gods called angels or triune persons, anthropomorphic/material chief deity, deified priests called prophets; they are surviving remnants of "Monolatristic Henotheism" -a hardened, centralized, more coercive form of Polytheism- rather than Monotheism.
Modern religious societies do not realize how rationalized and modernized their outlook on God actually is, like an unlabeled de facto Deism, compared to scriptural orthodoxy they conveniently ignore. Today, the legit religious lifestyle is preserved by extreme traditionalists on the peripheries, not the usual Church going aunt, not even conservative politicians.
But then again the non-Monotheistic side of religion continues to poison our thoughts and behavior. Although ritual worship is allegedly only dedicated to a chief deity, we have lesser divine beings and holy spirits venerated with just as much piety, temples and shrines to make Communion with said divine powers, offerings to please them, priests to confess our sins to and intervene on our behalf and countless other pagan superstition.
The believer's heart is not alone in a spiritual relationship with a singular Divine authority, nor is his/her mind satisfied since established theology isn't interested in reducing Divinity to oneness from all the additions and extensions and inventions justified under labels like 'only intercessors' or 'persons/faces of the one and the same essence'. So the anti-logical mystery of triune godhead, or of finite mortals receiving literal words from an infinite and immortal entity, or angels (malak=mighty one) being blatantly disguised remnants of Canaanite/Greek/Arab pantheon ... all pass as inconsistencies of Monotheism while they have clear Polytheistic roots.
When it comes to creating and designing nature, these religions have no concept of nature or inviolable natural laws to begin with. When it comes to Omnipotence, Jehovah or Father or Allah are anything but, as they need constant assistance and collaboration of Angels (Mighty Ones) (let's just call them Gods already) to be able to manage cosmic affairs. Each Angel/God is entrusted by The God (Allah in Arabic is literally Al-Ilah) with governance of a particular natural/cosmic function like weather, soil, fertility, death, guidance, judgment in afterlife etc. When it comes to Omnibenevolence, you don't need to be reminded that the scriptures have zero concern of proving their god's goodness with all the atrocious militaristic commandments and even sending humanity to earth as a punishment! Adam and Eve's banishment can be interpreted as Misotheistic (hatred of God and depiction of God as cruel) even. As a Deist I would much rather considering being here as a blessing rather than punishment. Or what about being All-Just? Having my sins atoned for with the sacrifice of someone else instead of me turning away from my wrongs is not fair.
But all these attributes - Creatorship, Omnipotence, Omnibenevolence etc. - are so culturally wed to the rhetoric of organized religion, it's as if one has to defend every dogma and tenet of these religions the moment they take a step into the realm of Monotheism. This among others if you ask me is the greatest burden and confusion caused by organized religion and part of the reason Deists struggle to define themselves or pinpoint their position in relation to others.
Organized religions do not only spread so many lies and paradoxes, but blend the truth with superstition and cause the truth to be discredited among their nonsenses like a jewel lost in a bag of coal.
TL;DR, from my pov, Deism is simply belief -whether it be a rational conclusion or heartfelt knowledge- in One Supreme God, Creator of Nature, Moral Authority, while denying the existence of other divine or spiritual beings as well as divine intervention - miracles, revelations, vicegerents/spokesepersons.

I'm an ordinary person who doesn't make grand gestures to become rich or famous. I've tried cooking food for street children and their families. I'm familiar with Genshin Impact, Apex Legends, and others because I've recently figured out how to try them on my budget computer with 4 GB ram at maximum settings (keyword: Cloud gaming).

So I’ve been absolutely inlove with this guy since I was 16/17 it’s nearly a decade later. And he’s 6 years older than me (we’ll call him OG)
Off the bat we used to talk all the time, super close, we’d hang out, go hunting, to breakfast and spend all day and night talking to each other. Since I was younger my dad found out, we had went to a football game together and I went over to OGs house and my dad was pissed. He threatened to beat his ass and I was grounded and it was kinda dumb, but I understand looking back since I was only 17 going on 18 when we actually started hanging out alone.
When I went to college we still talked, and he persistently snap chatted me, flirted, and would send me mildly inappropriate snaps (not full nudes) I finally got up the courage one night to text him and ask “what is this? I like you, we’ve been inseparable for like 3 years now” I got back a reply that he was not interested in anything and that we were basically just really good friends (still got weird vibes but began to accept it was never going to be more, I slowly started to distance myself and move on)
2-3 years later (he had came up to see me at school two or three times but nothing ever happened)
I moved home to the same town he lived in after college and again OG started talking to me constantly, I went over to his house a few times, and one night he sent me a text telling me “you can come over and smd and we can mess around if you want” I was annoyed and frustrated so I just ignored him as I didn’t want to be some fling since he was kind of a manwhore.
I shortly started casually dating, he of course found out (our families are friends and his older brother is my dads bestfriend) he would constantly pick on me and tell me not to be hoeing around and that I was a floozy and I shouldn’t be dating.
I tried to ignore him but we have such a past and with the family dynamic I feel like an ass to not talk to him (and I obviously was still inlove with him) so I would just call him on his shit and tell him to fuck off I was an adult and we weren’t together.
OG would come over and hang out, we’d go out to eat, and I started talking him lunch to work and we’d talk all the time— but I was casually dating a few guys.
I started to get serious with a guy that had kids, and OG found out and started making comments about me dating a guy with kids and shouldn’t I find someone who didn’t have kids and so on. Around this time I told OG once again that I still had feelings for him, and I got nearly the same response as the first time. But I was also super confused, because dude why are you so far up my ass but you claim you don’t like me.
So later that year I started dating the guy that I am still with to this day. OG immediately started to pick on that relationship, and would say things like “you’re never around anymore, how’s the Indiana kid” and just being condescending but trying to joke. He eventually started calling me Indiana because I spent time at his apartment out of state.
During the time I started dating my current boyfriend, I completely stopped talking to OG, bound and determined that it wasn’t going anywhere and I needed to move on.
He got a job transfer and met a girl that he is currently still dating. Fast forward like 2-3 years and at his brothers wedding he made his girlfriend stand up and like proclaimed his love for her and said she was the love of his life 🙄 when the speeches were finished he didn’t go see his girlfriend he came to my table, knelt down and put his hand on my leg— super awkward but I honestly don’t like his girlfriend and I wasn’t going to start anything at his brothers wedding.
The morning after the wedding his girlfriend was out of town to see her kid, and when I got to the venue to help clean up he immediately came and hugged me. After the wedding he would talk to me on and off— but seldomly.
About a year and a half ago my boyfriend got a job across the country, and I was planning to move once my lease was up. Two nights before I left I had plans to go to dinner with his brother and his brothers wife who I am very close with, he of course tagged along (his girlfriend was out of town) we went to dinner and he bought my food and drinks we had a great time, I tagged all of them in an instagram that night after dinner and he untagged himself the next day.
The next day I came back over to his brother and sister in law’s house, he showed up and brought his dog, I sat outside with him and his dog and we talked and then he gave me a hug and told me he’d miss me. I went inside and was talking to his sister-in-law and I was nearly in tears and told her “I need someone to tell me if I am making a mistake, I love OG so much, and if leaving is going to jeopardize that I can’t go”
She told me “we all know you’ve loved him since the day you met, and I don’t know what his deal is, but I know he cares about you, but since he won’t open up and talk about it, you need to forget him and do what’s best for you in this situation.” So the next day I left and moved across the country.
From then on over the next year and a half everytime I would fly home he was always around. He would show up to dinner, or at their house, he would always be right by me, always hug me goodbye and always text me for a few days following us seeing each other.

Tomorrow we gain access to GMERICA through the MetaGates powered by Epic (Unreal).
GMERICA will be your online shopping hub for buying and selling new and pre-owned digital and physical goods. Want to buy the new Wu Tang album? Come shop for it in the music section. How about some new Nikes? Pick up a pair for your Bucky avatar and a pair will be delivered to you in person in a few days.
Once you're done shopping leave the GMERICA MetaGate. Enter a different one and go try out your new kicks in a match of Kiraverse. Or maybe in a match of Fortnite right across the way.
Bad matches got you stressed out? Go and immerse yourself in full 3D movie experience. Follow a hunter as he tracks his prey. Take the point of view you like. Take part in an ancient volcano sacrifice. Countless experiences waiting to be explored created by you the player. Maybe you want to visit a friends "Home" or meet for coffee. There's a MetaGate for that.
All of this powered by the most capable graphics engine. Secured by the most secure form of asset security EVER. Enabled by the most accessable tool for crypto ever (passport).
GameStop is inclined to distribute digital assets to it's investors to help us understand how easy it is? Guess what! They can and will.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk AMA.
TLDR, GameStop along with massive industry partners will be releasing their metaverse and begin our journey into the fastest growing and largest industry since war.
Tomorrow friends. Always tomorrow.

Aside from peesociety/family pressure that force women to get married lest their eggs would expire or some bs like that
I'm talking about the women who live in women's friendly countries (not looking at you Asia) but somewhere else in which they have the freedom of a man
They can be fully independent, have their own house, car, goals, etc..WHY would they willingly would want to marry men who drenched in misogynistic beliefs, and would expect you to cook, clean, take care of children while they possibly screwing around with their second, third wives!
Not to mention the possible abuse /martial rape they would have to endure because the religion gave men the authority to do so, and they have live under their shadow for months in case their spouse divorced or die...
And how incredibly sad how they endure all that crap because how their prophet said that heaven is under mothers' feet...how very convenient no?
If it were me, I would stay single the rest of myself...Married Muslim women are just glorified sex-slave yet they refused to see it...

After a chat which lasted 20 minutes, one coworker that is more of a close friend started talking about life in general and I said something about how anxious folks often black out in their mind when they speak which may doesn't make sense to others as our mind is blank but body overactive.
I said "You don't look like someone who's overly anxious" but he said he's diagnosed with mild depression and anxiety which resulted later in life.
I told him about how I was always prone to anxiousness in my early childhood and started showing symptoms seriously when I was 12 with DPDR, depression when I was 13. I told him that I was also diagnosed with depression, insomnia and GAD when I was 16 but also with BPD 4 years ago.
He was confused and said that it's impossible, I had no fall outs, it seems like I have boundaries and principles, I seem sure of myself, I seem very calm and rational.
I find that this is my mask, this is also confirmed by my family. I'd rather die than let someone know how much I'm struggling. I'm the kind of person who's so lost but is grasping onto what they know to elevate anxiety.
Symptoms I share with BPD is impulsiveness but not the strong one, it's like when I'm stressed I start being social, binge drinking, not eat, take psychoactive substances, be more active, pick fights a bit more easily but also prone to uncontrollable SH which did lead to diagnosis. My mood swings aren't bad, it's just that I repress my emotions, just fluctuating confidence and as said by others, one day I laugh at their jokes and be extra social and then the next I could disapprove everything said with judgmental expression even if the joke was the same or like having only one day in a week where I'm extra happy and other days I'm left with no energy and snappy. I have rejection sensitivity and last summer I was exposed as having feelings for someone, I was freaking out but this guy came, heard and left in fury. In the same moment, I felt nothing and just said "Let's play beer pong 1v1" as a way to black out and usually this is how I deal with emotions. However, 2 weeks later we were at the party and I went to the toilet and some guy that likes me also went and this guy said "You must be popular among guys" or something like enjoying the spotlight and I attacked him badly, I said something about how I'm not even that kind of girl, what he even think he's accomplishing with that and that it's disgusting. I don't remember what I say under bout of anger but I also split a lot when I'm close to someone, only then you can see my split. I deal with chronic dissociation, DPDR and some kind of amnesia where I don't remember my life when I was younger than 6 and later from 7-12, it lead to people telling me a lot of stuff which I don't know and it left me confused such as me thinking I spent my childhood in a room with computer playing games just for my dad to say I was very social and wouldn't come home from playing with my friends until dark or also not remembering people who used to visit us constantly which is embarrassing, I've lived here since I was born yet I know no one. Lastly, while I seem to have unshakable identity, it mostly comes from my observations of others and thinking through their motives so I stop everything before it even happens, critical thinking and reacting from fear. I've always had better than average critical thinking skills as said by my first grade teacher in elementary school but I was not aware of that. I have no idea who I am, what I stand for, who I want to be or if I'm even able to be "someone", who I was, am I chill or am I temperamental (people are also confused) and simply my identity is badly separated from my consciousness.
In reality, I'm confused because life seems very... easy going? Yet, I never felt worse, it's like my mental health started seriously degrading last year when I was faced with myself. I had a chaotic childhood which I heard from others. Mom and dad who used to fight and yell while I was sitting in a room next to it with my sister and she said I was dissociated. I used to slam the doors and objects when angry because I learned it from my mom. I used to fight a lot, had problem in kindergarten. I was badly teased with abandonment from my dad like leaving me outside of the car and saying he'll leave me in the woods in the middle of nowhere and laughing about it with my friends while I was having a meltdown. One memory of my mom being red in the face, crying and yelling straight to my face "No one in this house freaking helps me" while vacuuming and something about how she's going to leave this house and go back to her parents which was a given in any hard situation. I was a child so I wanted to help so the next day I clean everything on my knees and chair just to be asked "What did you do?!" and her checking everything just to correct me. I was "separated" from my sister by my grandmother as for the privilege because I was younger and undeserving of better stuff. Chaotic bullying, neglect and "I have to have better stuff than you and you don't get to say a word" by my sister but the worst of all, manipulation and blackmail. I was a servant because I didn't know better, I was afraid she'll yet again blackmail me if I don't do something she asked me to do. My feelings were denied because "She's your sister, don't fight" and I was shushed from expressing my anger and hurt but the issue was never addressed by my parents, they always said it's who she is. They all played cards with abandonment and I became VERY afraid of it unconsciously. The ones that I remember is only when I was 6 and 2-3 memories from when I was 9, who knows what was happening in between.
I still don't know a lot of stuff but one that baffled me was 5 years ago, I was told I was sucidal due to my sister and her minimizing her feelings because she was feeling worse and one day she came unannounced to my apartment when I was near breakdown and she told me I just snapped, told her some stuff and kicked her out of apartment. I have no memory of it but considering me from that period, it checks out, she has no reason to lie. I was sick of being treated like a diary without it's own feelings, thoughts, wishes so more of a supportive robot who had to listen and help or otherwise I was the worst person ever.
Life now? They're all supportive. Is it because they realized how bad my mental health was and they felt guilt, I don't know. They're still emotionally unavailable and in some way inconsiderate but not nearly as before. My mom doesn't have anger issues as much as before but she seems very repressed, my dad is still avoidant but gets overly immersed in a role of a caretaker when I have dip in my mental health like uncontrollable crying, my sister says she cares and gives me stuff but I can't see it in an altruistic way. I'm full of paranoia, I still split on them badly because I'm used to their old selves, I can't comprehend the change. That's why I have same patterns as I had in my childhood so I repress everything and dissociate and I can seldom realize it's not appropriate to have them as the situation is extremely different now yet I will go back to the old self the moment it gets heated. However, when I'm not BADLY dissociating, I still find myself being very jumpy when I hear the loud noise which gets me into fight or flight mode, it also happened yesterday. I always fight when there's someone yelling or banging objects, it's something uncontrollable. Other times, I'm in the freeze mode.
I still have disorganized attachment style, I still reject people all the time before I get rejected or made fun of, I doubt people and I can't have feelings for anyone or I'd feel overly vulnerable.
I still don't know about my diagnosis but what if I just have CPTSD instead of BPD? I hate that I still have these patterns even tho the situation is different. If I was not hurt by the past, why do I still carry it into the present? I could have a fulfilling life but the fear is always stopping me.
So, anyone with CPTSD like this?

Statistics and data analysis have exploited the power of data to explain the current condition in any corporate set-up and predict specific consequences. This is further improved by data science. By utilizing data to build algorithms and develop programs that support the development of the best solutions to specific challenges, data science helps to resolve real-world business issues.

By using hybrid mathematical and computer science models, data science addresses real business issues to produce insights that can be implemented. In order to gain valuable insights that aid businesses in making better decisions, it assumes the risk of venturing into the unexplored world of "unstructured" data. The best data science courses in India are available at Learnbay. Through online mentoring sessions and committed career support, gain knowledge from industry professionals.
Let's discuss the application of data science to actual business issues. We'll utilize a few businesses as examples and a few ideas of how data science is applied to actual business issues.

Putting an advertisement online automatically

Brokers will be the first to be discussed. This is a business whose mission is self-evident. It benefits both publications and advertising. If you are an advertisement, it will introduce you to a devoted audience through their reputable, clean exchange.

But What Does it actually accomplish?

It deals with sponsors and publications like ESPN, Encyclopedia, Bustle, and StarTribune. Sovrn has access to a wealth of data for insights because these agreements frequently occur throughout the day.
Automated placement of digital ads is done using this data. Its interface works with the server-to-server bidding platforms from both Google and Amazon, and it can generate revenue by distributing targeted advertisements to a specific group of clients.
Redesigning the search function using data science as well as advanced analytics
The best illustration of a tech company utilizing data science to address actual business issues is AirBnB. Every day, a million people look for the best holiday rentals on the site. Furthermore, it includes information on the demand for rentals, hosts, and more! After realizing this data's significance, Airbnb developed a dynamic pricing mechanism called Aerosolve.
As an open-source tool, Aerosolve's predictive model considers several factors, such as the ideal rental pricing depending on the property's location and the time of year when it is most frequently booked. It then uses the information to assist AirBnB hosts in determining their prices and maximizing their returns.

Making data-driven forecasts about crime using Data Science

There are many ways that data science helps US government agencies handle actual business problems, not simply at corporations or tech firms. The Northpointe software suite, for instance, is frequently utilized by the US legal system and law enforcement. It was created by an Ohio-based business called Equivalent and used data-driven algorithms to simulate if a person poses a risk of trespassing. The algorithms evaluate the risk based on a questionnaire about the offender's employment status, education, and other factors.

Using Data Science to avoid detection of tax evasion

The Internal Revenue Service of the US government has developed fraud-detection methods for the digital age using data science. One of the main reasons the IRS has stepped up its game is that tax evasion costs the US government billions of dollars annually. By analyzing the data that the public provides through a variety of channels, it has increased efficiency by building multidimensional profiles of taxpayers. As an illustration, consider the information from social media, email analysis, identifying electronic payments, etc. Individual tax returns are projected by the agency using these characteristics, and those with predicted and actual returns that don't match are chosen for auditing.

Conclusion

In this article, we sought to discuss a few ways that data science solves business issues. There are also a lot more situations when this might be useful. This list is not, therefore, all-inclusive. Nonetheless, I'm confident that after reading this post, you would have recognized the enormous expansion of data science in India, the US, and worldwide. Why not take some time taking one of the data science training like the IBM-certified data science course in Bangalore, offered by Learnbay? Who knows, you might use your data science skill set to solve a real business problem in a few months!

Uuuuh... Summoning who?
I noticed that in the discussion of for Sailing and shamanism, taming as been kind of forgotten, and today I wanted to rebate most of the points made against Taming and show how it might offer much, much more than what we are thinking.
To start off, here are the main points we should consider from yesterday's pre recorded live stream:

• The main focus of the skill is to give the creatures you capture and tame their own personalities, and not just keep them as "tools"
  
• Training this skill would not revolve into "capture creature, release it, repeat" but would focus on actually taming it, caring for it, and doing activities it might enjoy (for example, a bear could enjoy fishing, so you would gain taming XP by letting your bear pet fish salmon near Barb Village. That's where the meta would lie, instead of what hunting is mostly about.
  
• The incentive for Taming a creature isn't to just "do your normal activities but now with a random animal following you" like we have with the actual pets we have in game, but to do their very own activities that your tamed creatures might enjoy and be able to do. So, instead of just repeating an agility course, you could guide your creature to do it on its own together with other players
  

Now that we have these points highliged, let's talk about the main points AGAINST Taming:

• Taming should just be an expansion to Hunting

. First of all... Taming and hunting are two opposite things. And while it's true that some hunting methods use other animals, I believe that only shows how much good Taming could do to the game and other skills in the game as its own skill instead of just an expansion. The idea of having all these old and new creatures coming to the game with their own personalities and preferences open so many doors to new hunting methods, but not just hunting... Maybe even fishing, woodcutting, farming, agility, and many more! As they said in the blog, they have the fangs, the wings, maybe even the size to do things we are unable to do. So by letting this skill be its own thing, we open the doors for animals and other magical creatures to show us the way THEY interact with the world we play in!

• I don't want to see a bunch of animals following everybody everywhere in the overworked

. While that's understandable, we need to remember that the Devs have all ears on us. If we don't want the game to be overcrowded with pets, they can maybe show only in designated areas, maybe they only appear when you interact with them, we can make our voices heard about this. But I personally see potential with letting one of our companions walk beside us. As Mod Husky put it: These creatures could have their own walking and idle animation based on their personality and how loyal they are to you.

• What if it changes combat? I don't want Taming to be like Summoning!

. This is a bit of a grey area right now. But if we don't want these companions to intervene in Combat, they won't. Maybe they could have their own combat system that would work with other companions as a way to interact with other players's companions all Pokémon style, who's to say! But from what I've seen, they don't plan on making combat be the focus of this skill, the focus is in creating a long lasting bond with your creatures.

• I don't like the idea of having to stop everything just to feed my pet or having to keep inventory spaces just to not le them die

. Thankfully the Mod team knows that this is not good game design, and plan on making it so that the caring part of Taming be its own activity that you engage with IF you want to. It won't punish you if you don't do it, like your cat leaving you just because you didn't pet it once every 5 minutes. We don't know how this new system will look like yet, but we can be assured that they won't make it the same as old Jagex did back in the early 2000's.
With this said I believe I covered most complaints about the skill. Of course you can just not like the concept or the theme of the skill, that's perfectly fine. But even if you don't like it, I think it's important to acknowledge how much good this skill could bring to the game!
Being able to tame creatures, befriending them, training their abilities and seeing them interacting with the world in never seen before ways, doing their own activities or even aiding you on your own... The opportunities are limitless!
I hope I was able to convince you guys that Taming is a lot more than what some are giving credit, and that it should be a lot more considered when talking about a new skill. Thank you for reading!

I (32f) and my boyfriend (35m) have been together for 3 years. I moved in with him 2 years ago, I used to live in a big city 20 min away from my work, I work 4x per week from home and 1x per week in the office), and moving in with him is a really small town, 1h away from work, I don't like the small town at all as there's not much to do, but I love him and wanted to make the relationship work.
I pay part of the rent, it's not a high amount, the apartment cost €1800, and I pay €350 +utilities. I also take on 90% of the household chores, I do groceries and cook our meals. He is a military stationed in Germany, which means that the army pays for the apartment he lives in.
We both like to travel a lot, but I make about 60% of what he does, and we have always split everything 50/50, dinners, trips, and everything except for the rent.
Some of those trips made me go into debt, as they were too expensive and I had to put a lot on my credit card, which I am fighting to pay back now and it's eating a big chunk of my monthly salary.
He is going on a trip to Scotland in the coming week, for his birthday, with friends (other couples) and he wanted me to come, but I said I couldn't afford it, as this 4 days trip would easily cost more than €1000, and he didn't offer to lend me the money to join nor offered to help me by paying part of the expenses.
I told my friends about the trip, and how I wanted to come as it's his birthday, but I am really trying to pay off my debt and have no money for anything. They said that it's absurd that I even have to pay rent in an apartment that he doesn't pay for, and that he is making money on me, and if he was a good partner he would take me on the trip and let me pay him later or just pay for me as he has a really good salary (he is an army officer) and no debts.
They say I should talk to him about not paying for rent and put the rent money towards the payment of my credit card (which would be a great help).
I am feeling really torn about this... I have always been the type of person who has a hard time asking for help and he is the type of guy that says that people should be independent and take care of their own problems.....
So, WIBTA if I'd ask to not pay rent, and then I'd take care of 100% of the chores, and pay for all groceries and utilities?

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Memory transcription subject: Andes Savulescu-Ruiz, Human Director at the Venlil Rehabilitation and Reintegration Facility. Universal translator tech.
Date [standardized human time]: December 1, 2136
After Larzo left, I read the reports for a few of the children that didn't have translators yet. Something wasn't adding up. There were dozens of notes of "predator disease", with symptoms as broad as "inability to sit still" and "flat affect". I'd heard comments from the psych department about being shocked by how much aliens sucked at psych, but I didn't expect it to be so bad, especially given how good they were at neuro. It reminded me of "hysteria" diagnoses. The tag just became code for "freaked a nurse out once".
Once I read everyone's file, I put the helmet back on and headed to the North Wing (primarily staffed by Venlil and Zurulians) to check on them in person. I really needed a new visor. Putting it on and off all the time was proving to be a hassle. There were some new models I’d seen in “specialty human stores” near the refugee camps, where the visor had a stiff structure at the top and a loose cloth-like one at the bottom, allowing for ease of eating. It looked just like all the others from outside, while being vastly more comfortable. That seemed like something I could stand wearing all day.
I went through all the high-priority language-acquisition kids who'd gotten the implant. They were incredibly shy, and liked to huddle up close, but had taken well to them. Two of the smaller kids were holding up toy spaceships and making whooshing noises with them. The visiting teachers had already cleared most of them for starting classes here, and if they proved they could handle it, they might start attending a special education school outside the facility to help them with socialisation. A few of the boys, who tended to skew younger, were watching a screen together. Two girls and a boy were playing with construction blocks quietly. Some of the kids with implants were even attentively listening to one of the nurses read from a book and show them the pictures. None of them were any flavour of literate(obviously), but their impairments seemed minimal and likely to be reduced over time if given sufficient support.
It seemed we had gotten absurdly lucky. The other facilities had more catatonic kids. I counted two out in the corner with vacant eyes, but they were huddled together at least. Prosocial behaviour. Some others were twitchy and clearly hypervigilant, but they were responsive.
Then I went through the ones with the scary scans. Like I suspected, the kids with "predator disease" just looked like kids to me. Maybe a little hyper or rambunctious, but they'd just discovered elbow-room. Both reactions made sense: huddle together for a sense of safety or explore everything everywhere all at once the moment you suddenly can.
It was reassuring! Just because a brain looks fucked up, it doesn't mean it is. Brains, especially those of children, are incredibly malleable. People with hemispherectomies live largely normal lives, after all. There were stories of concentration camp survivors complaining about the quality of their food within weeks of being freed.
Hedonic adaptation is often greater than we give it credit for. A creepy brain scan is just one data point. Watching them interact made me orders of magnitude more optimistic about their prospects.
Two of them were fighting over a toy with all their might. One eventually won and the other fell on her butt. The victor ran off and hid behind a filing cabinet. Instead of crying for help, the losing kid seemed to just glare and begin plotting her revenge. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the quiet seething coming from that adorable little fuzzball.
"Is this typical of them since their arrival?" I asked a human aide.
"Yeah. Kinda wild for Venlil, but I think that's probably better than the ones that are basically catatonic. Thoughts, Director?"
"I agree. But we might have to move them around soon. I'm a little concerned about some of the tags in their files."
She nodded and went to help someone else bring in a box of storybooks.
I found I kinda liked the deferential way in which the other doctors and nurses and aides treated me as I checked on them. "Yes, sir", "of course, Director Andes". Larzo just called me Andes, which was fine, but I liked feeling important sometimes.
One of the girls in the low priority group kept sneaking glances at me. She had a speckled pattern of dark spots on her white fur, with two big black shapes around her eyes and a round smaller one around her mouth. She reminded me of a dalmatian my neighbour had, when I was a kid. It was aggressively cute. She rushed up to the aide that was handing out snacks, made some growling noises and pointed at me.
Hmm. That must be one of the ones they said struggled with language.
"Oh that? That's the human director,” the nurse said, squatting down to be at eye level with the kid, then added in a hushed tone “don't get too close to the humans. They're predators."
That seemed a little crazy to me (if she can call me a predator, can't I take off the stupid helmet? Was that not the information we were trying to keep from them? Was I going to have to reprimand the anxiety-filled rabbit-sheep on her third day of work?) but the little girl with the spots didn't seem freaked out at all. She just kept staring at me.
It might have been a little creepy if she wasn't so adorable.
The nurses and aides--especially the Venlil ones--seemed most comfortable with the babies, who would be sent to adoptive homes soon enough, as they had the best chance of a smooth reintegration into Venlil society.
The older kids had a curfew, and specific meal times, but were otherwise encouraged to wander around the different sources of enrichment built into the first floor of the North Wing, from playgrounds to books, to a little room filled with data pads that had child-friendly cartoons. There were some classes, but the psych specialist had decided that after being so cooped up, the kids would struggle with the concept of freedom, and so we should make it as clear as possible that they now had it. I headed back to my office which existed in a smaller section between the two wings.
There were a few things in need of cleaning up, but they'd all been addressed. I took off my helmet and got to work on my first report to the Committee for Rescued Venlil Rehabilitation - Human Division (CRVR-HD).
Perhaps an hour into that process, I met my venlil counterpart. He passed by my office door and let out a startled squeak. He dipped into his office, left his bag inside, and poked his head into my office. I thought I saw a shadow move when he did, but I assumed I must have imagined it. That or it was some sort of space butterfly in the periphery of my vision.
"H-h-hello... H-h-human..."
I took a deep breath, which he found somehow intimidating. I took another deep breath, to avoid getting pissed off by him finding breathing intimidating.
"Hello, you are Doctor Karim, right?"
"Yes, yes, and you, um, you are, uh. Um." I couldn’t tell if he had genuinely forgotten my name, or if he was just that freaked out.
"Andes Savulescu-Ruiz."
He frowned. "Not Doctor?"
I shrugged. "My university got blown up, so I'm not really sure what the status is on my credentials. But I did finish my doctorate, if that means anything to you."
He started shaking a little less and walked closer to me.
"Y-yes, I was-was told. Doctor Andes is fine, you have earned it."
I gave him a nod. He nodded back.
"I had, um, assumed that I would b-be um. Director of… this facility. I did not know what to expect of a human um, co-uh. Co-Director."
"To be honest, I don't know what to expect either. When they told me I would be spearheading this, I didn't think there would be a human division and a venlil division. I assume it's so you guys don't have to boss humans around if it freaks you out."
"Yes," Karvim said. "Yes, most certainly. And for your predatorial expertise."
My what? "...Go on?"
"These children. They have been reared–if we can call it that–by and among predators, for the most part. We do not know if they have acquired predator disease, but even that framework is currently being questioned. So your perspective will be vital. Not to mention you are known to communicate with the Arxur, which we… may have need of." He looked a little pissed off about that last part. I decided not to focus on it too much.
"...Good to know," I said, positively baffled about my supposed predatorial expertise.
“I will begin my work now. Feel free to leave. It would be better to avoid unnecessary overlap,” he said. I realized then that he was expecting some sort of tagging in-and-out where we don't actually interact.
“We’ll have to discuss that later,” I said, “human sleep-wake cycles don’t map well onto venlil ones.
“So I’ve heard. Have a good rest of your shift,” he said, and headed out.
As though summoned by mention of “predatorial expertise”, Shaleth called me two minutes later, and nearly gave me a heart attack.
“Andes, I have been returned to my people in exchange for your pets. How are you finding them?” he said, like it was the most natural thing in the world! I nearly jumped out of my seat when he popped up.
“What the fuck? Doesn’t this shit have caller ID? What are you doing?” I scrambled to lower the volume and figure out the settings on the app.
“You are not happy to hear from me?” he asked, clearly a little miffed. Did he ask Asleth for my info?
“I’m at work! You can’t just call me at work. I’m working with–”
“With the cattle, yes, the ones you like so much. I asked you how you were finding them,” he repeated, clearly not grasping the whole I am at work situation.
“They’re… Doing as well as we could expect, Shathel. Some are better than others.”
“Well I hope they’re worth the effort. The lab meat you sent in exchange is really quite delightful, you know? I believe I understand now why the Chief Hunter is so eager to have an alliance with you Humans.”
“Well… Good. Cruelty-free, you know?”
“Ah, but sometimes the cruelty is the best part!” he said, like a whole-ass supervillain. I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Sure, Shaleth, sure, the brutal murder is the best part of eating,” I said with a roll of my eyes.
“Spend enough time with those quivering creatures, and you’ll soon see it my way,” he said smugly. “Send me a message when you are not at work. I demand to know what has happened since you arrived on the most succulent of planets. You look healthy.”
He ended the call and I groaned, leaning back into my chair and rubbing my temples. I ran a hand through my hair, leaned back against my chair, and only then did I notice a little white tail, with little black spots peeking out from behind one of my bookcases.
“...Hey there, little lamb,” I said, a little concerned about how much of that she’d heard. I was pretty sure it was the same little girl who’d pointed me out to the nurse. She peeked out from behind one of my boxes of books, and stared directly at me. Still cute. “Did you need something?”
She didn’t say anything.
“...Should I call a nurse?”
Nothing.
“You know I don’t actually think you’re food, right? We’re not gonna eat you. Is this okay? Should I put my visor back on?”
The stare remained.
“...Alright, how about… I just go over here…” I slowly got off my seat and walked over to the door, “and I open the door… And then I back away so that–” In a blink, she scurried out of my office.
“...Well, that’ll be an interesting conversation with Dr. Vemla,” I muttered, and finished up my report. Once done and sent, I headed over to the Psych floor on the North Wing. Doctors Vemla and Rodriguez were having a heated discussion.
"--don't understand the needs of the Venlil. The signs! We are different from humans!"
"I know," Rodriguez said, trying to placate her. "But what I have seen thus far is entirely explicable through trauma, I don't want to write these children off."
"Then I should transfer them over to you," Vemla said pointedly, as if it was a threat.
"I don't see why not," Rodriguez said, giving her a little shrug.
"Everything good here?" I asked. Vemla was a little startled by my appearance, but seemed grateful suddenly.
"I fear we may be leaning a little too much into the human comfort with predatory behaviour," she said, "one of these children bit another one. And the way they move their tails… as if they had weights attached to them. It's unnatural."
I nodded. "Okay… I believe the proposed course of action is wise, then. If you think these children are dangerous, they pose the least danger to human workers. Transfer them over to Rodriguez. We'll see about housing details when the South Wing is finished in a couple of days and they've stopped pouring in from the main hospitals."
"Very well," she said, looking suitably satisfied. "It will be a good way to test the efficacy of the human way of handling these cases."
"I agree," Rodriguez said.
"...Alright," I said, "Doctor Rodriguez, can we talk?"
She led me into her office, closed the door and took off her visor.
"One of the kids saw me talking to an Arxur," I said. She paled, then tried to force herself into a more neutral expression.
"Um. And why exactly–"
"It was a surprise call, I didn't know he had my info," I explained, hoping it didn't look too defensive.
"And the child, how are they?"
"...Seemed fine?"
She looked at me curiously. "Fine? No crying, no shrieking, no shaking?"
"Yeah. I opened the door and she scurried out like a mouse caught with a cookie in a spotlight."
Rodriguez provided me with a patented Psychologist-grade "Interesting".
"I thought so."
"Could you identify this child?"
"Oh sure. She looks like a dalmatian with big spots on her eyes and mouth."
She nodded. "Keep an eye out for her. I think I know who it is. I'll notify you when I have a session with her."
"Sounds good," I said, and headed out the door. "Good luck with your new patients."
She nodded. "Thank you, Director."
I decided to clock out and hit the gym after that. The notion of the gymnasium for recreational purposes seemed to be entirely alien to the Venlil. Soldiers exercised, as did exterminators (or, some of them, anyhow). But it seemed to be more of a duty than a desire, which is why the “gym” was just a room with a soft floor, a couple of small treadmills for testing purposes, weights, and–paid out of my own fucking pocket–a set of gymnastic rings. Between the prohibition of “predatory” pursuits like martial arts and the fact that everything was heavier and harder, I’d settled into an annoyingly difficult yoga routine.
Larzo came by at around the fourth pose. I shifted the weight from one leg to the other and he stared for three whole breaths.
“Can I help you?” I asked, glancing back at him before focusing on my form again.
“... Yes, I was… I was looking for you and thought you’d… Could I draw you, when you do this?” he asked.
“Sure?” I said, because what else do you say when an alien marsupial asks to draw your yoga poses? “Why were you looking for me?”
“Well, I noticed a curious pattern among some of the children and I thought we should have a meeting about it.”
“Schedule it with Karim,” I said. “I clocked out five minutes ago.”
Larzo scoffed. “As if he would listen to me. Come on, Andes.”
“Alright, I’ll schedule it during my next couple of shifts, now what do you–”
As I shifted to a “rainbow bridge” pose, looking at him upside down, I noticed two venlil little girls staring from behind the rack of weights. One was the one who’d been in my office, and the other one was black with a scruffy white band around her neck that didn’t reach her shoulders and white hair on top.
Their ears were startled up when they noticed me looking at them. I looked off to the side to see them better through a mirror instead of directly.
“What do I what?” Larzo asked. I slowly brought a finger to my lips. The girls had stopped looking at me so intently, and instead were facing each other and hissing, with the occasional growl or baring of teeth. Were they having an argument? Could they do that?
One of them saw I was still looking at them through their reflection and grabbed the other. They scurried out of sight. Only then did Larzo notice them.
“Oh. I saw one of them earlier. She had a scratch.”
“The one with the little spots snuck into my office. Cute, aren’t they?” I said, switching to a handstand as slowly as I could. “Sneaky too. I wonder what they’re up to.”
---
SECURITY FOOTAGE VIDEO TRANSCRIPT, MODIFIED TRANSLATOR SETTINGS ANDES-5
[standardized human time]: December 1, 2136
[Four venlil girls sit inside a room, each on their own bed. They are identified as 85731-C, 85763-D, 86392-B, 85719-A. Henceforth referred to by the last digit and letter of their designation.]
1-C: I found the room the big one works in.
2-B: I saw him too. He's not that big, some of the other bosses are bigger.
1-C: He's the strongest. And they know it. They bow their heads and say yes sir.
9-A: What are you trying to do? Do you want them to eat you?
1-C: I am trying to give us an advantage. It worked before. Find the biggest boss. Get the biggest boss on our side. We get extra treats and don't die.
3-D: Never go alone. Always together. Bad idea.
9-A: Why are you like this?
2-B: You have no idea if that worked. They could have been fattening us up.
1-C: They didn’t. They brought us here. Because we were good.
2-B: They brought plenty of prey here. We are not special. Never be first or last, most or least, best or worst.
3-D: Never volunteer, never call attention.
2-B: See? 85763-D Understands! Why can’t you understand, 85731-C?
1-C: I understand better than you. New place! New rules!
2-B: You’re slow and stupid and soon they’re going to realize you’re too ugly to be a productive girl and any babies you have will be slow and stupid too, and they’ll eat you instead of taking you to breed.
1-C: You’re slow and stupid! You can’t even hide from them! I hid for a long time and he didn’t even notice me, but with you there he noticed right away!
2-B: Of course you’re good at hiding, there’s nothing to look at!
[1-C runs out of the room]

If they dropped all pre-tenses and actually told us how shit their lives are now without reality tv, how hard parenting is and why they lean on the iPad, that Brittany actively sought out their relationship to get on the show, that Jax struggles with infidelity issues etc etc then people might actually listen. No one wants to hear them bullshit more and more.
I obviously realise they live so deep in delusion this would never happen but it’s the only thing that would make that podcast worth a listen.